As most of you probably know by now, my email is a Gmail account. More often than not, I'm a fan of Gmail. The "not" generally involves those (usually brief) spazzes when Gmail is "unable to process request. Please try again in a few moments". I think it's cute that the trash can shows recycling tips, and the spam folder has Spam recipes. (OMG, some of those recipes...!)
I've been impressed with Gmail's success in capturing spams and dumping them into the spam folder. Unfortunately, I do have to go to the folder and officially trash them. Because I can't stand to have that bold Spam (8) offending my sense of order, I dump the folder several times a day. Occasionally, the nature of the spam does catch my eye. Of late, I've been besieged with male sexual organ enhancement products. What the FUCK? Of all the bullshit that could inundate my account, why this? [Don't be nasty, Sydpacker. Oh, what the hell - go ahead.]
I've been impressed with Gmail's success in capturing spams and dumping them into the spam folder. Unfortunately, I do have to go to the folder and officially trash them. Because I can't stand to have that bold Spam (8) offending my sense of order, I dump the folder several times a day. Occasionally, the nature of the spam does catch my eye. Of late, I've been besieged with male sexual organ enhancement products. What the FUCK? Of all the bullshit that could inundate my account, why this? [Don't be nasty, Sydpacker. Oh, what the hell - go ahead.]
The best of the worst:
- Stop blaming your lack of getting laid on everything under the sun. Maybe it's the moon...
- Sex can be one of the most enjoyable parts of your life. Um, duh.
- No more floppy dick. 'Cause floppies are, like, so old school.
- My wife loves the new size of my dick. She calls me Big Boy now. Better than "Vienna Sausage", no doubt.
- This email will make your dick bigger. Just LOL
- Stretch her out with MegaDik. Yikes!
- She'll hurt so good with MegaDik. That's better.
- Make your dick huge this summer. For the summer? Is this like tanning?
- Are you a stud in the sack or a dud at the back? At the back of...? Nm, I don't want to know.
- Do you have what it takes? Become a solid 8 inches. Yes, I said *8* inches. Could be helpful doggy style. Maybe that's the "back" reference...
- Get a visit from the Big Dick Fairy. Sounds rather gay.
- Do you ejaculate before or within minutes of penetration? Frequently. Is that a problem?
13 comments:
OMFG. I can't add a damn thing to THAT. Just...LMFAO.
(verging on TMI, btw)
Yikes! This whole stretch her out stuff gives me the creeps. Is this what guys really want to do?!?! Thank you for compiling the best of the best: it amazes me the AMOUNT of these!
so do you want me to stop using your email address on the porn sites?
I deleted 1,137 pieces-o-spam from my gmail box this morning, I can't stand it either, but not quite as badly as you apparently.
I was going to comment on how I never looked in the recycle or spam boxes, and thought it was funny they added those little things to them. That all went out the window with the rest of your post! OMG on your last one! ROFL!
MegaDik....ha!
SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!! At the new SuperPlex Arena, see, for the first time ever, the world's largest phallus: MEGADIK!!
WOAH! Who has time to think of all those "creative" titles? YUK.
I used to constantly empty my spam box too... now it's currently telling me Spam (307). I've given up. It never stays empty for more than a minute.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(No lelo, that's just stupid ad campaigning)
I just re-read the title of this post. Spam is meat? Really?? LMAO! I don't eat meat..or spam for that matter LOL.
BTW, ladies, please please please check out my blog today and take the AFA LGBT Discrimination Poll..we need to take action and tip the scales and there is a link to a one-question poll that I urge you to take. And then pass it on. Drop me a line if you are able to do this..it would mean a lot to see our progress! And get the word out there that we are not going to shut up and roll over so the "American Family Values" people can prove we're not worth equal rights. UGH! I just get so heated over this.
I go through them, too. Never occured to me to blog about them. Thanks for handling it for me, I don't think my delicate sensibilities could have done it justice...
LMAO on all of it ...
And I am sooooo grateful that I am a lesbian when I read those dickspams. Heh. Who needs VYAAAGrHA (or whatever it is they are mispelling and peddlin') ...
Oh nevermind.
suh-weet! those are hilarious. the sad thing is that for every five lesbians who cringe and delete, there's at least one guy who says "...actually, i *could* use a solid 8 inches..." and opens the email. wow.
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