Oh My... Goodness

Who knew there were members-only Christian paintball parks? The link to the fantastically cheesy article about such a facility in Wisconsin (God's country?) is below, but I'll give a few highlights.

"Christian paintball park provides friendly fire" is the sub-title from the Canadian paper that ran the "article."

The term holy war is also used, of course. As is fighting for the glory of God.

In addition to prayer before combat, the rules apparently prohibit cheating, "spiteful" play, and swearing. [Fuck THAT.]

It's called Promised Land, and the paintballs have the little Christian fish symbol printed on them. [!!!!!]

A few quotes from the "Christian Soldiers":

• I've looked in the Bible, and can't find anything wrong with paintball.
• On a Sunday we could be in church, but why not be out playing paintball and spreading the word?
• There's an impression that Christians are wimps -- that they're just no fun.
• The secret is not to get shot much.

And finally, there's this little nugget:

While glad to save the Promised Land, after a day embedded with God's play-army, I have lingering questions -- which I ask Ohio Christian player Dan Skinner. Would Jesus play paintball? And how well?

"The Bible talks about Jesus wrestling with his disciples," he answers. "I believe if he played paintball he would play just like anyone else. He wouldn't use his divine power to win, because that would be cheating."

What would Jesus do? Laugh, for starters. I hope.

[Source]

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