Who knew there were members-only Christian paintball parks? The link to the fantastically cheesy article about such a facility in Wisconsin (God's country?) is below, but I'll give a few highlights.
"Christian paintball park provides friendly fire" is the sub-title from the Canadian paper that ran the "article."
The term holy war is also used, of course. As is fighting for the glory of God.
In addition to prayer before combat, the rules apparently prohibit cheating, "spiteful" play, and swearing. [Fuck THAT.]
It's called Promised Land, and the paintballs have the little Christian fish symbol printed on them. [!!!!!]
"Christian paintball park provides friendly fire" is the sub-title from the Canadian paper that ran the "article."
The term holy war is also used, of course. As is fighting for the glory of God.
In addition to prayer before combat, the rules apparently prohibit cheating, "spiteful" play, and swearing. [Fuck THAT.]
It's called Promised Land, and the paintballs have the little Christian fish symbol printed on them. [!!!!!]
A few quotes from the "Christian Soldiers":
- I've looked in the Bible, and can't find anything wrong with paintball.
- On a Sunday we could be in church, but why not be out playing paintball and spreading the word?
- There's an impression that Christians are wimps -- that they're just no fun.
- The secret is not to get shot much.
While glad to save the Promised Land, after a day embedded with God's play-army, I have lingering questions -- which I ask Ohio Christian player Dan Skinner. Would Jesus play paintball? And how well?What would Jesus do? Laugh, for starters. I hope.
"The Bible talks about Jesus wrestling with his disciples," he answers. "I believe if he played paintball he would play just like anyone else. He wouldn't use his divine power to win, because that would be cheating."
[Source]
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19 comments:
damn...to think I sat thru all those years of sunday school, training union, wednesday nighte services and countless revivals and special events when I could have been playing paintball....damndamndamn
Jesus would totally shoot people right between the eyes.
Praise the lord and pass the ammunition?
"Listen, Jesus...I've about had it up to here with your 'holier than thou' attitude about getting hit...yeah, I know you're wearing a white robe...get a Tide stick and shut the fuck up."
Thank God it's not in Mississippi.
They should have an opposing team of sinners to make it real for them.
What would Jesus do? He'd play NAKED. With his "disciples."
- MAW
Okay, that's just bizarre!
Wait - Instead of church, they play paintball at a Christian paintball park - to spread the word - um...don't the people there already have the word? Shouldn't they be going to the heathen devil-loving paintball park?
Well, since Bill O'Reilly's latest "news story" is about the national epidemic of roving lesbian gangs, I say we head up north and show those god-bags some righteousness or sumthin'.
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Ok, but I would ONLY go if I could be one of the infidels. Philistines. Whatever.
Hilarious find, ww!
Wow. Very interesting what some people will do to pass the time...like creating a Christian paint ball center! That is too much.
hmmm. christians + shooting
I'll need a moment of silence (or a beer)to process.
Wouldn't Jesus turn the other cheek? Why have one paint ball blast when you can go for symmetry?
Court and I are enrolled in a paint ball class this fall at our college. then we are going to start our own lesbo paint ball gang. Bring it on, onward Christian soldiers!
I'm thinking me and the other Wiccan Warrioresses would totally kick their asses.
(speechless)
Electronic memory is something that I seem to be unable to ever have enough of. It feels like megabytes and gigabytes have become an inseparable part of my every day existence. Ever since I bought a Micro SD Card for my DS flash card, I've been on permanent watch for large memory at low prices. It's driving me crazy.
(Submitted using FFOpera for R4i Nintendo DS.)
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