Sunday, December 31, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Last night, Suzanne and I watched "The Cider House Rules" on Bravo. After IMDbing the movie to discover who wrote the book, I naturally sniggered that Mr. Irving elected to name the main characters Wilbur and Homer. God, what a lame writer, I thought. The movie, and presumably Mr. Irving's book, cover abortion, adoption, infidelity, and incest.
The movie (and therefore presumably the book?) actually captured my attention. In my opinion, Tobey McGuire was far better in this movie than as Spider-Man. And what's not to like about Charlize Theron? (Well, aside from the blond hair, that is ;p). I watched every moment of the movie, despite the ridiculously frequent and lengthy commercial breaks. Despite the uncomfortable subject matters. Despite my continuing concerns that the outcome would ultimately suck because it was, after all, based upon a novel of John Irving.
I was wrong.
And just FYI, whilst perusing the various Google hits for Mr. Irving, I discovered he is also the author behind such theatrical (and, again presumably, literary) successes as The World According to Garp and A Prayer for Owen Meany.
I figure I owe him that much of a nod. As for reading those books, well, the jury's still out.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Nice, eh? If for some
crazy, ridiculous, idiotic reason that image doesn't appeal to you, try this one: it was a gift from Suzanne's sister, the former nun. And we opened it in front of her mother.
If that image does work for you, there are others. Enjoy.
Monday, December 18, 2006
I also discovered that songs I purchase from iTunes are MP4 files, and it's a real bitch to successfully convert them in order to access them via any medium other than iTunes. While wending my way around these little obstacles (and also seeking less expensive alternatives), I came across this little graphic from emusic.com:
Fallopian Tubes, anybody? C'mon, it doesn't take a lesbian to see THAT.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
The problem with trees is they have leaves.
The problem with leaves is they fall.
The problem with fallen leaves is they inhibit the growth of grass. And make the yard look like crap.
The problem with fallen leaves in suburbia is one can not rake or blow the fuckers to the woods or whatever. One must break one's back bagging them.
One must get off her ass and go deal with the leaves.
Ah well, at least it isn't so damned cold today.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Friday, December 08, 2006
PwD: Do you have a girlfriend?He bolted. Fortunately, she didn't chase him.
Staff: Uh. Yes. Yes, I have many acquaintances that are female. [pause] Um, do you mean a special someone...?
PwD: I mean someone you have sex with.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Suz: I don't want to watch that.
Suz: Justin Timberlake, I mean. Women in sexy underwear, I'm okay with.
*Sorry, ladies (and dudes), this was TUESDAY night.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Um, she's supposed to be black? Funny, she kinda reminds me of this Hawaiian chick from Season 3 of American Idol (2004).
And then there's this Barbie, apparently named the Barbie My Scene Bling Bling Styling Head. (Yeah, there's an "African American" version of her, too, named Madison. I'm not sure who she reminds me of.) Yeah, kinda skanky. Yeah, kinda hot... but awfully femmy.
I can totally see both of them telling Ken to "step off," so they can hook up with the dyke doll. Niiiice.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Saturday, December 02, 2006
The afternoon in question happened to coincide with the culmination of a season's worth of competition on Dancing with the Stars. The table was abuzz with opinions of whether Mario Lopez or Emmitt Smith would win. One woman seemed particularly adamant that Emmitt held far greater appeal:
Older men know enough to make sure the woman is satisfied, too!I'm so glad the whole table erupted in laughter, because I was a laughing fool.
When the meal was finally over, the seniors--and my familial unit--began to disperse. My father stopped to speak with a man who hadn't had the good fortune to dine at my table. I didn't hear what my father actually said to the old guy, but when Daddy turned to me for introductions he stated he was teasing "Jim" because Jim was a newlywed. Jim then piped up, informing me he'd been married before, for 56 years, until his wife passed away three years ago. When he said, "I didn't really want to get married again," I quipped, "What, she wouldn't shack up?"
Ever seen an elderly man blush?
Thank God my mother didn't hear that exchange. Daddy laughed.