Thursday, April 19, 2007

Maybe in May

Is it just me, or has April just sucked, and sucked, and sucked some more? (If it is just me, I may have to switch to an every-other-month, or every-other-OTHER-month blog posting schedule.) Fortunately, I don't think it is only my perception. Crazy weather. Crazy people. It's all been distracting, and beyond dismaying. Hell, I even forgot to call my mother on her birthday, yet was timely in my efforts for Syd's Bitch and Wife of Weese. Just crazy.

So... Fuck April. (The month, Asshats. Don't be nasty.)

My point? There IS hope, people. First, American Idol has finally been liberated from Sangina. With a little luck, I'll be able to resume doing laundry in my OWN laundry room soon. The Orioles are over .500, a virtual miracle. And then there's World Naked Gardening Day! [Ya'll really need to open that link to see the header.]

Why garden naked? First of all, it's fun! Second only to swimming, gardening is at the top of the list of family-friendly activities people are most ready to consider doing nude. WTF? Haven't "family values" gone far enough?

More daring groups can make rapid clothes-free sorties into public parks to do community-friendly stealth cleanups. And mug shots are such a nice addition to any family album.

Gardening has a timeless quality, and anyone can do it: young and old, singles or groups, the fit and infirm, urban and rural. no, No, NO!

Do it inside your house, in your back yard, on a hiking trail, at a city park, or on the streets. Insert your own "do it" joke here.

...post your thoughts and images onto an Internet site... Um, that's called porn. Not that I'm maligning porn... oh, nm.
And for those of us that don't have a garden, might I suggest a little bush trimming to honor the day? After all, "All that's involved is getting naked and making the world's gardens--whatever their size, public or private--healthier and more attractive".

Coincidence that this date is concomitant with Cinco de Mayo? I don't think so.

.

15 comments:

Syd said...

I am way too allergic to even consider naked gardening. I did ride the lawn mower topless once, does that count?

Funny, funny post.

Zoe said...

Wow, who knew. The only thing stopping me from naked gardening is lack of privacy fencing, and probably Betty Please. Oh and the allergy thing, that would be a bad scene.

Do you suppose watering the house plants naked would count?

zuhn said...

Besides the allergy thing, the possibility of insects crawling or flying up your (my) you know what is a big deterrent.

And yes, April is sucking big hairy mis-matched balls.

Trop said...

Naked gardening? I don't think so. Naked swimming? Where do I sign up!

Anonymous said...

Seems it's quality not quantity.

Lee said...

allergies here too, but I have a special mask for that...I have other special masks too, but I won't bore you with those details...and since I've already flashed our neighbors a couple (or so) times, this won't be much of a stretch :)

mute said...

naked gardening....so, how would this affect weed whacking?

And April's been a'ight...but, February can still kiss my ass.

weese said...

naken gardening...hmm, where would i put my fiskars shears?

Anonymous said...

Umm..yeah. April. Sucked. But May is my birthday so it has to get better, right? It better!

Middle Girl said...

Naked...except for the hat, gloves and clogs?

No? Then fuhgetaboudit!

SassyFemme said...

Naked gardening? Oh not just no way, but no fucking way. There are bugs outside, and there are certain places on this body that insects shall never touch!

sporksforall said...

The O's look good.

Naked gardening wouldn't.

Suzanne said...

I'm glad the old man across the street doesn't drive his tractor naked.

Unknown said...

I'm a confirmed naked gardener. I usually sign my comments on web sites with Ralph, the naked gardener, God's original intent. It was; wasn't it? Never was revolked. Main thing I know (for any Bible thumpers) is that of 2 people who complained against another's nakedness, both those were cursed. Read all about. No condemnation of it in the Good Book. 'Tis if you're a muslim, but that book was written by ONE very opinionated person.

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