Karamel Sutra

Ben and Jerry are asshats. That's right, I said it. For years while eating every grain of salt I could find, I at least didn't partake much of foodstuffs of the "sweet" variety. Nope, no sweet-tooth here. I wasn't one to indulge much in chocolate, or candy, or cookies... or ice cream. I was happy with my bag of chips (and even happier if I also had salsa). Mmm, saltalicious!

A few months ago, though, my I-don't-care-much-for-sweets wall came tumbling down. It started with PMS (I wonder just how many womanly vices can be attributed to the hell that is PMS?) Anyway, I had a craving for ice cream. As it happened, I was in a 7-11 so I had a decent selection of Haagen-Dazs and B&J's from which to choose. As I do not particularly enjoy nuts in my food, several options were quickly scratched (no Chunky Monkey for me!) I do enjoy caramel, though, and thought a pint of "A Core of Soft Caramel Encircled by Chocolate & Caramel Ice Creams & Fudge Chips" sounded pretty good. Oh yes, a core of caramel. Are you familiar with this particular evil spawned by Ben & Jerry's? Apparently they have a whole line of "Core Concoctions." And, like so many other evils, Karamel Sutra is good.

I ate that first pint in one sitting. What's that? That "first" pint? Why yes. First indicating the existence of a second, and a third, and a - oh, hell, I've lost count. It'd probably be easier to count in gallons. And trust me, if good ol' B&J marketed this stuff in gallons, I'd buy it. I'm addicted.

I like to eat the caramel ice cream for a few bites, then switch to the chocolate side with the delightful little fudge chips. I very carefully do not eat the caramel core at first. Much like my first kiss with Suzanne, the anticipation is part of the pleasure. And while I will not say that the caramel core is as sweet as my woman's lips, I must repeat: it is good.

So beware of this temptation, oh ye with the teeth for sweets. And don't be fooled by the cutesy name. Karamel Sutra is the product of an asshat conspiracy of mamoth proportions.

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