Thursday, November 02, 2006

Public Service Advisory

Liberation from nasty public facilities (and poorly maintained private ones, Deborah) has arrived! Fear the empty toilet paper holder no more!
That's right. Your own personal roll of TP, sized for convenience. You can buy it at REI, or order it here. I assume it's squeezably soft... and since it's your personal roll, Mr. Whipple can shut the hell up.


I learned of the existence of this product from Suzanne's mother, but had to Google for some time to find the actual name (memory like a steel trap, I have). For your own search engine awareness, "travel size toilet paper" yielded the product of interest. "Personal toilet paper" and "portable toilet paper" most decidedly did not.

Instead, I found this personal toilet, useful "during all crucial moments as in the cars, private planes, dirty toilets, or camping". Um, think I'll pass. Even in conjunction with this classy privacy shelter (that "pops up in seconds, not minutes,") no.

There was also the bumper dumper. Definitely not, despite the amusing and descriptive name... or the feasibility anywhere "a sanitation situation may occur".

And, although I may wish for a larger bladder on occasion, I never considered the benefits of a spare one. That's not just any spare bladder, either: "Special granular polymer inside each pouch soaks up contents and converts it instantly into a scent-neutralizing gel".

I'm not particularly inclined to avail myself of these other conveniences, but ya'll feel free to do so if hiking or emergency preparedness is your thing.

And go ahead, squeeze the Charmin. It's yours.

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11 comments:

Middle Girl said...

Let me be the first to say a hearty thank you! You have done a stupendous job researching and reporting. I for one applaud your efforts and ingenuity.

Special granular polymer inside each pouch soaks up contents and converts it instantly into a scent-neutralizing gel You absolutely cannot have a spare bladder that won't take care of the basics. Priceless.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm, that personal toilet is just way too personal for my tastes. The word that comes to mind: Eeeeuuuwwwww!

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sporksforall said...

Ok, so very much like the tampon art, I am sorry I clicked through to your various links.

Still, well researched. What is the benefit of the Charmin over, say, a pocket pack of puffs?

Suzanne said...

My purse is filled with toiletries and other items I may need when out and about in the cold, hard world. I need one of those Charmin purse packs.

sporks, do you really propose using Puffs for business better completed with toilet paper? You heathen.

KMae said...

Okay, you all can laugh
BECAUSE YOU"RE YOUNG!!!!
You would be surprised at how handy some of these articles can be!!
hehe!

Wendy, this was just halariously wonderful! You are GOOD!

weese said...

see i agree with Scout. puffs do provide dual purpose. would you whip out your personal Charmin for a sneeze or perhaps to wipe away a dollup of errant ketchup?

greymatters said...

Why is it the more I read, the more I began an anthropomorphic moment in which I felt I was my cat?

What a fun read, W. Brava

sporksforall said...

Puffs work. It's not ideal, but Charmin leaves behind (at least for me). So, that's hardly ideal either.

SassyFemme said...

I just have to giggle, sometimes it's just amazing what we learn about each other on blogs! LOL

Syd said...

I have giggled about this all damn day. Well done, my dear.

Anonymous said...

Fearing a lack of western conveniences in Vietnam, before traveling this summer I purchased a small medical device (physician approved!)that fits snuggly to the female anatomy and simulates the male anatomy in its ability to direct certain bodily fluids away from legs, panties, shorts, shoes, etc. I practiced in the shower for several weeks until I felt that I had achieved the pin-point accuracy of, say, an 8-year old boy. With that being said, was I ever glad that I never had to use it.