Saturday, December 02, 2006

Socializin' in the South... Small-Town Style

While visiting my parents in Texas, I had the good fortune to join them for an early Thanksgiving meal at the local Senior Center. (My mother is the former Board President, dontchaknow.) Anyway, we had a relatively decent meal of turkey, dressing, sweet potato casserole, green beans, cranberry sauce, and sweet tea. While always mildly uncomfortable due to my sinful lesbian status when in the midst of what constitutes a fair portion of my mother's social circle, I DO enjoy some of the socialization amongst the old farts my elders.

The afternoon in question happened to coincide with the culmination of a season's worth of competition on Dancing with the Stars. The table was abuzz with opinions of whether Mario Lopez or Emmitt Smith would win. One woman seemed particularly adamant that Emmitt held far greater appeal:
Older men know enough to make sure the woman is satisfied, too!
I'm so glad the whole table erupted in laughter, because I was a laughing fool.


When the meal was finally over, the seniors--and my familial unit--began to disperse. My father stopped to speak with a man who hadn't had the good fortune to dine at my table. I didn't hear what my father actually said to the old guy, but when Daddy turned to me for introductions he stated he was teasing "Jim" because Jim was a newlywed. Jim then piped up, informing me he'd been married before, for 56 years, until his wife passed away three years ago. When he said, "I didn't really want to get married again," I quipped, "What, she wouldn't shack up?"

Ever seen an elderly man blush?

Thank God my mother didn't hear that exchange. Daddy laughed.

.

8 comments:

KMae said...

Oh Lordie!
Where in Texas do they live?
I grew up in Richardson.
You did well. The thing is that ladY probably WOULD have been happy to shack up.
Just one of those old fashioned gentlemen, I guess.

Suzanne said...

I've never gotten to go to the Senior Center.

I think your mother might also have laughed.

Middle Girl said...

Hanging out with my mom and her sisters is the bestest time. Too bad it doesn't happen more often.

My 85 year old aunt has been married 4 times. She divorced once. She has a friend she sees regularly. She doesn't want to marry again.
She's a pip and pretty damn funny when she remembers stuff. Even when she doesn't.

sporksforall said...

When my grandmother got old, she also got lots of boyfriends. She was all very formal about with me, but my mother told me that she really liked folling around with them. I was she had shacked up.

Thanks for the funny post. I'm not sure why witty and cute have to be mutually exclusive.

Syd said...

You trollop! I bet you're still the talk of the Old Fart's Center.

Teresa said...

While I don't believe I've ever made an old blush, I remember a time when my family was out at a restaurant and my grandmother was worrying over a slight bald spot developing at her crown. My grandfather elbowed my dad and said conspiratorially, "Ah, that's just from where I bang her up against the headboard." I was about 10 at the time, too young to think about my grandparents having sex, let alone rough sex.

Anonymous said...

very interesting post! :) but it's very hard to understand haha

KMae said...

Scoutt, - HIlarious!!!!!!